How to raise a feminist boy

in this edition, i'm sharing:
- i choose privacy
- how to raise a feminsit boy
- surprise surprise merch

nowadays it's hard to reach me. you won't find me on stages or at events. i'm not that active on linkedin, but at least there are a few more posts on insta. people keep asking where i am. there's still this inner fight with fomo. but you know what? i'm replaceable everywhere and i've already been replaced. but there's one place where i'm truly needed, and that's at home. i'm finding peace in this creative chaos. i'm discovering myself in new structures and routines. and i'm happy every time my baby boy learns something new, because i know it's thanks to the attention he gets and a secure home to grow up in. to be honest, i've had all the success that built my personal brand. i'll use that power again someday, in another time and place. but for now, even my alter ego can take a rest. love d.

“dajana, it’s a boy, how will you deal with that as a feminist?”
in my early pregnancy i somehow thought it might be a girl. but when we found out our baby would be biologically a boy, i started crying. my first thought was: boys don’t get raped or assaulted easily. i won’t have to be afraid that another man will go after him. all the things that happened to me and to so many other women won’t happen to him. now i just have to make sure that none of it will ever be caused by him.

IT’S A BOY - AND HOW TO DEAL WITH IT AS A FEMINIST

to be honest, i don’t find it that heavy. we raised girls with awareness and empathy, so what’s stopping us from raising boys the same way? he’ll grow up in a family with a caring, sensitive father and me. babies today have the chance to become different adults. knowing all feelings are okay, but not all actions. i’m still learning frustration tolerance myself. seeing my baby whimper in frustration, unable to hold his head while pushing himself, too immature to crawl - it’s a reminder that we’re both learning.

what if we simply changed the narrative to “children are xyz,” instead of “girls do this” and “boys do that”? maybe body and brain development differ, maybe hormones do too but what we see today is shaped by decades of social norms. all the men whining that patriarchal structures are breaking (i wish they’d break faster) still cling to them out of fear, instead of embracing change. women have broken rules to become financially independent, employees, ceos... and somehow, men missed every train heading toward progress.

but many women before me have raised amazing feminist sons. especially one woman reading this newsletter, who gave me, in my early 20s, a partner through whom i could rediscover love, family, and ultimately myself. this shaped the woman i am today. we all need someone to lead us. gently and warmly.

if you ask what i’ll do raising my son, here’s my answer: i’ll build a secure framework for him to grow, explore, succeed, fail, and grow again.

NOTE2SELF

there is a certain beauty in being at peace. no rushing. everything unfolding at the pace my baby boy shows me. there is beauty in the chaos. there is beauty in the pain of growth. there is beauty in the blank canvas before words fill the frame. but most of all, there is beauty in growing this child. for the first time in my life, i can truly do the work of healing my inner child, seeing myself in his eyes, giving him the love and care i always wished for. no spa, no holiday, no self-love retreat could ever heal what is happening in these quiet, ordinary hours with him. through him, i can be. through him, i can be(come).

BOYs ARE SO MUCH MORE than loud, dirty, and exhausting. so many times i’ve seen shirts like that, always reinforcing the same old “boys vs. girls” narratives. but i want to be proud of my baby and proud to say: i am a boy mom. that’s why i created this t-shirt, for all the moms and dads raising little feminist boys. if you want one too, the shirts are oversized, made from organic cotton, and available in white and off-black, sizes s to xxl. 39,00 plus shipping - just reply to this email.

ps: if you are missing a girls edition or something else, just reply. i’d be happy to create the missing version.

you made a powerful decision for yourself by reading RE:FRAME to the end. let’s turn that power into action - add five more in: five forwards to friends, five shares, or simply your five mins of reflections. your next step matters.